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When I was quite small, my family were Jehovah’s Witnesses. My big brothers remembered their Catholic beginnings, they remembered magical Christmases. My little brother and I did not, we’d never been Catholic yet. We used to get very sad that all of our friends had lovely Christmas or Hanukkah, and we did not. We’d pout. My big brothers tried their best to console us. Our best friends lived across the Mean Machine Tee . Their dad was not home much, but he was a very stern man. He had quite the temper (when we grew up, we realized that he was always drunk, but when we were small he was just scary). He had a Doberman called Rex who we were all also terrified of. One year, I’m probably four or five, we’re sitting in my brothers’ room wistfully staring out the window at our friends playing with their new toys, wearing their Christmas sweaters, all that. The oldest two brothers, maybe trying to console us, convince us that we do not want Christmas at all. They tell us that Scary Dad is Santa Claus. They tell us that Rex the Doberman is actually Rudolph. Would we really want Rex landing on our roof? Would we really want Scary Dad judging whether we were naughty or nice, and sneaking into our house while we slept?

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